In addition to the physical wounds that domestic abuse sometimes leaves, often just as severe are the effects that few see, and include PTSD, Depression, Dissociation, Anxiety and Difficulty sleeping.
While DV affects people of all income levels, women with a household income income of less than $50K face increased economic vulnerabilities that impact their ability to flee an abusive relationship. Undocumented and trafficked survivors often face significant legal and language barriers when seeking safety, and are at risk for abuse.
Domestic violence (DV)—also called relationship abuse, intimate partner violence, or dating violence—is a pattern of coercive control within a relationship, especially an intimate relationship.
is about the impact of the behavior on the victim, which is why abuse looks different in different relationships. Abusers figure out what works to make the victim feel afraid, off balance, confused, stressed out, exhausted, or otherwise unable to assert themselves or say what they need. This often starts very slowly and builds over time.
MYTH: Same sex couples do not experience domestic violence.
REALITY: It happens at approximately the same rate as with heterosexual couples, but also happens within the context of the larger societal oppression of same-sex couples.
MYTH: Most domestic violence happens in poor communities and bad neighborhoods.
REALITY: People of all income levels experience domestic violence, and wealthier abusers often use their resources and social standing to silence survivors and exert control.
MYTH: If a victim of domestic violence really wanted to leave, they could just leave.
REALITY: When a survivor decides to leave an abusive relationship is the most dangerous time. Social, cultural, economic, religious, or legal barriers also keep survivors in abusive relationships.
MYTH: Physical violence is the primary kind of domestic violence.
REALITY: Although nearly half of all women and men in the United States have experienced psychological aggression by an intimate partner in their lifetime (48.4% and 48.8%, respectively), there are many other ways that domestic violence happens, including verbal, emotional, and economic abuse. These may occur together with or independently from physical violence.
MYTH: Once the violence has ended, survivors no longer experience its effects.
REALITY: Survivors of violence are more likely to report frequent headaches, chronic pain, difficulty sleeping, and poor physical and mental health. The long-term health impacts of abuse including cardiovascular disease and a weakened immune system are well-documented by the Adverse Childhood Experience Study (ACES).
MYTH: Once a survivor flees the abusive relationship, they are no longer at risk for further abuse.
REALITY: Survivors of violence are often stalked by former partners, well after the relationship has ended; in fact, contact during this period can be extremely risky—even deadly (Jackie Campbell Danger Assessment). Court-involved survivors often continue to be controlled, harassed, and have life-saving resources depleted by former partners. Children continue to be impacted by an abusive parent in custody and visitation agreements.
If you suspect you might be in an abusive relationship, contact an advocate to discuss your options and plan for your safety. Make a plan before you leave, if at all possible. Leaving an abusive relationship is a very dangerous time, with a higher-than-average risk of escalated violence.
Because isolation is both a tactic and consequence of abuse, it’s important that they know you are there for them, that you believe them, and that they are not alone. An advocate at The Second Step can help you find ways to support them without making their situation even more difficult.
It can be very scary when we suspect or know that someone we love or care about is in an abusive relationship. It is natural to want to rush in to help and support them the best we can. We may have challenging emotions ourselves including anger, fear, helplessness, sadness, and fatigue. Although we might want to, we cannot single-handedly extract our loved ones from abusive relationships. Here is what you can do to support them:
If you need help supporting your loved one, an advocate can provide you with emotional support and guide you to helpful resources such as Family and Friends’ Guide to Domestic Violence: How to Listen, Talk and Take Action When Someone You Care About is Being Abused.
If you’d like to speak with an advocate now, please contact The Second Step at 617-965-3999.
CAN-DO has opened a VITA site to help Newton residents and surrounding communities by offering free tax returns. Please see flyers below for more information.
Safety Net develops and maintains educational resources, apps, and toolkits for survivors and professionals working with survivors focusing on understanding tech abuse and the strategic use of technology to increase and maintain safety and privacy.
Developed by Nikia Bodden, Director of Transitional Living programs in coordination with Piltch Associates, MassHousing, and Casa Myrna, this guide is designed for advocates working with survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault who are seeking assistance with locating and obtaining permanent affordable housing in Massachusetts. The intent of this guide is not to make you an expert on all the federal and state housing programs. Rather, it is to provide basic information on key affordable housing programs and on the application process for obtaining affordable housing.
Supporting survivors of domestic violence in their transition to self-sufficient living.
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