At The Second Step, we know the holidays can stir up a complex mix of emotions for survivors of domestic violence. Joyful celebrations may sit alongside grief, loneliness, the reality of what someone is currently living through, or reminders of past trauma.
Abusive partners may use the holidays to exert more control, isolating survivors from loved ones, monitoring their movements, or exploiting the expectation of “keeping the peace” to silence them. Financial pressure, disrupted routines, increased time at home, family expectations, and alcohol use can all heighten tension.
These unique stressors and vulnerabilities during the holiday season are not always visible to others, so it’s a time when compassion, awareness, and connection matter even more.
Why the Holidays Can Be Especially Hard for Survivors
Several factors converge during the holiday season to heighten risk and trigger painful memories:
- Increased Stress and Financial Pressure
The demands of holiday gift-giving, hosting meals, and travel can put a heavy financial burden on many households. According to CAWC research, this added pressure can intensify existing tension, particularly in relationships already marked by coercion and control. - Alcohol Consumption Rises
Social gatherings and long holiday evenings often mean more drinking, a well-known risk factor for intimate partner violence. Alcohol can lower inhibitions and fuel emotional volatility. - More Time Together (and Less Access to Help)
Family gatherings, travel, and longer stretches at home can mean more emotional and physical contact between survivors and their abusive partner. At the same time, support services may be harder to access: many agencies operate with reduced hours, and survivors may feel more isolated. - Emotional Weight of Family and Tradition
The “should-be happy” veneer of the holidays brings strong expectations of togetherness and joy. For survivors, fear of disrupting the holiday for children or extended families can delay decisions to seek help or leave. In addition, they may also feel other emotions such as nostalgia for happier times, anger towards the abuser or others, and jealousy towards others.
The Resilience of Survivors: Strength That Carries Through the Season
Even in the hardest moments, survivors show extraordinary strength. At The Second Step, we see this courage every day and offer tailored services that support each survivor on their unique path to safety, stability, healing, and hope.
Our services are available year-round, but we also know that the holidays can bring unique challenges. We tailor our support, so survivors have what they need during this time.
- Safety Planning: During the holiday season, we help create holiday-specific plans that consider travel, family gatherings, and times when survivors may have less privacy or access to help.
- Legal Protection: Our attorneys file for restraining orders, handle custody, or housing matters, and provide the legal grounding survivors need, even during the holidays.
- Community & Emotional Support: Through counseling and one-on-one advocacy during the holiday season, survivors gain a space where they are heard, understood, and empowered to get through this challenging and emotional time.
- Economic Stability: We help families meet essential needs by providing financial help and resources to keep food on the table and support stability.
How You Can Support Survivors During the Holiday Season
This season, supporters and partners can play a vital role in bringing light, stability, and hope to survivors and their families. Below are a few ways to help:
- Check-In
- Check in more than usual during the holidays. Be aware the abuser may be intentionally isolating them, and extra support is crucial.
- Create Space
- Find ways to get them away from the abuser, such as shopping, errands or food prep. Respect their wishes if they do not want to.
- Codewords
- If you’re not spending the holidays with loved ones, establish code word “check-ins”.
- Share Location
- If someone you know is traveling with an abuser, ask them if they are comfortable sharing their location with you.
- Support
- Holidays are a very difficult time for survivors. They may feel pressure to return in hopes of having a “normal” time. Be compassionate, not judgmental. Offer them resources, words of support, be patient, and believe them.
- Learn More at Our Upcoming Webinar
- We are hosting a free and informative webinar on December 16th at 6:00 p.m. This session is designed to help you recognize the many forms of abuse, understand their impact, and learn how to support someone you care about. You will gain safety tips, practical guidance, and resources to help survivors feel seen, heard, and supported during the holidays and beyond.
A Note of Hope
While the holiday season can be especially difficult for survivors, strong community support can make a meaningful difference in someone’s path toward safety and healing. When a community comes together offering resources, warmth, legal protection, and care, it makes it possible for someone to not only survive, but to thrive in a life free from violence.
At The Second Step, we are honored to walk beside survivors on that journey. This holiday season, your support can be the reason someone finds safety, strength, and a new beginning. Together, we can turn what may feel like a somber season into one of light and hope.
If you or someone you love needs help, please contact us. We see you. We believe you. We are here for you.
- Call: 617-965-2538
- Email: info@thesecondstep.org
- For more information: thesecondstep.org