By Sue Ross, CEO of The Second Step
I just finished reading Without Consent, a book recommended to me by a friend and colleague. The timing felt especially significant, as April marks Sexual Assault Awareness Month, an annual campaign to raise public awareness about sexual assault and educate communities and individuals on how to prevent sexual violence in the United States.
Without Consent: A Landmark Trial and the Decades-Long Struggle To Make Spousal Rape a Crime by Sarah Weinman starts with the true story of Greta Rideout, who, in the 1970s, accused her husband, John Rideout, of rape. The case became one of the first in the United States to bring national attention to the issue of marital rape, culminating in a landmark trial that forced courts and the public to confront a deeply entrenched belief that consent within marriage could not be withdrawn.
Weinman carefully reconstructs the events leading up to the accusation, the legal proceedings that followed, and the intense media scrutiny surrounding the case. She shows how Greta’s credibility was relentlessly questioned, how societal expectations about marriage and gender shaped public perception, and how the legal system struggled to reconcile the concept of rape with the institution of marriage. While the case resulted in an acquittal, its impact was far-reaching, helping to spark broader conversations and legal reforms around marital rape in the years that followed.
More broadly, the book examines how institutions such as the courts, legislatures, media, and communities can fall short, particularly when the narrative does not align with what people expect sexual assault to look like. That disconnect is something we continue to see reflected in conversations about domestic violence and sexual assault. There remains a persistent and harmful myth that violence within intimate relationships is somehow less serious, less real, or more complicated than violence perpetrated by a stranger. In particular, sexual violence within marriage or long-term partnerships continues to be widely misunderstood.
Marital rape is real. It is a form of sexual assault and a form of domestic violence. And yet, it is often overlooked, shrouded in silence, stigma, and deeply ingrained beliefs about entitlement, obligation, and consent.
Historically, the idea that consent could be withdrawn within marriage was not even recognized under the law. While that has changed, the cultural residue of those beliefs lingers. Survivors may struggle to name their experiences, to be believed, or to access support. They may face pressure to stay silent, to protect their partner, or to preserve the image of a relationship that, from the outside, appears intact. Without Consent underscores how damaging these gaps in understanding can be.
Raising awareness about sexual violence must include conversations about what happens behind closed doors, in marriages and dating relationships. Consent is not implied by a relationship. It is not guaranteed by a legal status. As this month continues, I am reminded that awareness is the starting point. Real change requires listening without judgment, believing survivors, and being willing to confront uncomfortable truths. It requires all of us individually and collectively to challenge harmful norms and support a culture where consent is understood, respected, and non-negotiable in all relationships.